Personalities and Pools

"A person is a person, no matter how small." 

--Dr. Seuss, Horton Hears a Who

Of all things, the quote above is what I think of when I read Charlotte Mason's first principle of education, "Children are born persons." In moments when I catch myself falling into the "egoism which persuades us that in proportion to a child's dependence is our superiority, that all we do for him is our grace and favour, and that we have a right, whether as parents or teachers, to do what we will with our own," (Vol. 6, p. 80) I chant it to myself.

My children are not automatons. They are persons, with thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams that I need not make light of just because they are young. They have interests different than my own which should be respected, but sometimes I forget this. I half-listen, nod and smile, and have no idea what they are talking about when they mention it later. This is not kind, and it does not respect them as persons.

 I have a child who is very mechanically inclined, and from a young age he has taken great interest in swimming pools and their pumps. He has taught himself a lot about how they work and how to assemble them and the things they require. Last summer he took care of one of those easy set-up pools in our backyard very competently, without much help from us. It is truly one of his passions.

Yesterday he decided to spend some of his saved money on a much larger pool on Craigslist. He really, really wanted to set it up today, even though he would not be allowed to fill it with water yet. When he mentioned this last night, my response was to tell him to go ahead, but that I didn't want to have to help him set it up because I had things I needed to do today, and that I basically thought it was a bad idea. My husband had to work, so any parental involvement was going to be on my shoulders. It's March. It's cold. It's even been snowing a bit. And I really wanted to spend today planning out meals and lessons and other things for the week. Inside.  He said he would be able to do it alone, but truly, there was no way. My husband looked at me and said he wished I could get excited about it because our son was so excited about it. He was right, and I knew it.

Later that night, I was reading Chapter 5 of A Philosophy of Education, "The Sacredness of Personality." And I read this:

"All action comes out of the ideas we hold and if we ponder duly upon personality we shall come to perceive that we cannot commit a greater offense than to maim or crush, or subvert any part of a person." (p. 80)

Today, I stood in the windy cold with my son and one of my daughters setting up the pool. He was happy for the help and it was good. There were moments of frustration, but we worked together and the job got done. My menu isn't planned and we'll be winging it some tomorrow, but it will be okay.  This was better. I wish I had responded with love and respect for who God created my child to be last night instead of thinking only of myself and what was important to me.  But I am hopeful that today made up for some of it, and that going forward I will see the person standing in front of me, no matter how small.